Me ~ "I have an idea. Why don't we go to Harrison (a nearby lakeside resort) this Christmas, stay in a nice room, and go swimming in the hot pools? We can even have a turkey dinner there!"
This request didn't go over well with my son.
Son ~ "WHY? I want to be home with our tree and my presents and bake cookies and stuff. Like we ALWAYS do!"
He's right. You can't run away.
The season is upon us and I had decided early on I wasn't really in the mood to deal with the joy of it all. I wanted to disappear from my blog for a good month and not have to watch in wonder as everyone's decorations went up. I wanted to pout. And run away until the world was back to same 'ol once again.
What's wrong with me you ask? I'm simply missing my mom.
It's been a strange year since she's passed in March. Being busy has helped. In fact, I think it's saved my life.
What's more profound than busy though is, what my decorating passion has done for me this year. Could this be one of the reasons why everything's transpired the way it has? Was the blog and the decorating gig a protective measure sent from Heaven to help me cope with what was to come? What a well executed plan I say.
This project is the perfect example. I was creating my crate stairs the day she passed. I couldn't leave things as is so I kept on going to finish it. The curious paid visits to see how we were coping, and when they saw the paint strewn everywhere, they knew exactly what was going on. I was coping the only way I knew how. By creating.
One of my most popular projects came through one of my darkest moments ever. Imagine.
And now, I'm decorating for Christmas. Which is more difficult. It's a season of reflection and enjoyment with those we love. And my true loves are in Heaven this season.
At first I pouted and fussed and threw a bunch of stuff together I didn't particularly like. Honestly? I wanted to put it all back in the box, curl up and take a nap instead.
But my son wouldn't let me. My littlest hero led the way and kept his mom on track. And the more I did, the better I felt. Grandma would have been proud. :)
This weekend we picked up a cut tree. My son's first real life non fake tree ever. He was ECSTATIC. Over a $35 tree. He teaches me what I ought to feel each day.
And then we proceeded to do the rest of the decorating. The upstairs was flipped upside down and nothing was safe from some gadget symbolizing the festive season. Even the rust got prettied up. :)
As a result of how I've been feeling, this year's decorating has been moving ahead slowly. But with purpose. Rushing through it just spins me the wrong way this year. Slow but steady while enjoying the moment is the 2010 mantra that is working for me. So my reveals may be later than most you see in blogland. Forgive me. I want to savor and enjoy it and do it right the 2nd time. :)
This Christmas I will miss my parents terribly, however I believe I have one of the most powerful gifts to help overcome the more difficult times. The decorating spirit within. And the need to share it so others going through similar situations can feel hope. And figure out how to cope, just like me.
If you are missing a loved one this Christmas, I encourage you to dig deep within and do 'that thing' that makes your heart sing. Go ahead and cry and punch a pillow now and then if you need to. BUT... please don't stay there. Push yourself in a good direction and bring yourself a little happiness. It's OK to feel happy. In fact, it could save your life.
To those hurting this season, may the true spirit of the season greet you with a warm smile, embrace you with love, and bring acres of wonderful new memories to cherish. Just remember, the others around you need you to be the best you can be. And you want that too.
You can do it if I can. Deal? :)
I want to thank those that I Facebooked with while I decorated. It was like you held my hand all the way through it. Thank-you. :) If you aren't on Facebook yet, please join in. We have some of the best discussions and laughs. :)
Here's to a wonderful Christmas! And thanks for being a part of mine.
Are you hurting this season?
Try the advice above. It's the best gift you can give yourself.
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