Oh no! Flowers caught in the snow! Do you think they'll make it?
Lately, it seems no matter where I go or what I do, I'm finding flowers in the snow. Or should I say, good folks going through a surprisingly tough time.
Is it the time of year? Are we suppose to be happy happy joy joy because everyone is suppose to have the perfect upcoming Christmas? Have you too noticed many stories surfacing this time of year like I have?
I really don't know if it's the season to blame or the expectations we put upon ourselves. But here's a newsflash. There is no such thing as a perfect life on earth. But I do believe you can improve your given situation 10 fold with a slightly different outlook.
First and foremost, I'm not trained in this sort of help. I don't even fully understand why I have a need to post this. I'm just led to. It comes easy for me and it feels right.
Now, just so you don't think I'm immune to ugly and nasty stuff happening, here's my own current list I'm chomping on which happened in the past 2 weeks. Please don't feel pity for me. It's simply a means of getting a point across which I'll make shortly.
My ugly list
The last power surge killed a work computer and I'm hacking at a disabled system daily to save my business. Yikes.
My son has been sick for a VERY long time to the point where I needed to run him in to the Dr.
On the way to running him in, I lost my brakes on my truck and ran a 3 way stop.
I'm late in all my work projects due to staying home so much.
I took my truck in and now scratch my head at the crazy train bill. There goes the new camera fund!
I'm busy mourning loved ones during one of the most family oriented seasons ever.
So, what's one to do when hard times hit?
Survival guide for flowers in the snow
Own it.
Own where you are. Now, blaming yourself for everything under the sun is NOT the same as owning where you are. By owning it, I'm simply saying, you are where you are because of your choices.
That's a hard one to swallow, isn't it?
Yes, there are victims in this world. But once you reach adulthood, you are responsible to make sound adult decisions. One of the greatest lessons I've ever learned is, if I own where I am, I'm capable of making the changes necessary to better my situation. Continue to blame others or circumstances and you'll never dig your way out, because you haven't allowed yourself to come to terms with WHY you really are where you are.
Find the good
Would you believe I can find a good reason for every one of those bad things happening to me? Here's what I mean:
Truck brakes went... bad
It happened on a quiet street, VERY close to home and I didn't die... good
Reason - My truck had been wonky for some time but I ignored it... thank goodness this finally happened when and how it did!
I'm late in all my work projects due to staying home so much... bad
I started working on things that needed my attention at home... good
Reason - Being forced to stay home led me to finally getting productive on mandatory overdue tasks I would never have taken the time for otherwise.
Search for a bigger meaning for whatever happens to you. And sometimes a reason won't even come to light. Yet. But it eventually does if you search for it. I truly believe there's a season for everything.
Be productive
I remember when one of my relationships with another ended. It was a devastating time in my life. And while needing to mourn was mandatory, I found it equally important to stay productive in order to stay sane.
I can sulk and do nothing or I can sulk and get stuff done. A no brainer, however, know what being productive really did? It gave me a kick start in the right direction and kinda caught on. Just like what my Christmas decorating did for me this season. I still felt lousy, but I would have been far worse curled up in bed for days on end.
But more than that... my son needed me. And I did something about it. This was my problem, not his. So I didn't allow him to suffer.
Allow others to be involved
Do you wanna know who one of the most stubborn people on earth is? You're looking at her blog right now.
I don't like asking for help. I don't like bothering people. I want to be self sufficient and do it all on my own!
But know what? Not only does it hurt me, it hurts my son. I deny him opportunity if I don't allow others in. And I also deny the others wishing to help.
One of the greatest lessons of all is when I allowed friends help me fix my house. I had hit bottom where everything was breaking and I couldn't get out on my own. Once I allowed others in to help, not only did it fix what was broke, it taught me valuable life skills on how good humanity really is.
Trust is earned over time. So give it a fighting chance.
Allow happiness
Every so often when I think of my mom passing, I'll either break out in a smile or a frown. And for some reason, I'm more comfortable when it's a frown. I ought to be miserable and miss her, right?!?
Why oh WHY do we deny ourselves happiness? Remember the good things and smile! Teach others around you how you deal, by allowing happiness back in. Be good to yourself. Say yes to invites. Do things that make you happy. Allow happy back in and your heart will soften. Who knows.. you may even find happiness. :)
Appreciate the simple
Everything sure is expensive to buy these days, isn't it? I mean, all the good things in life cost a bundle!
When was the last time you took a walk during a new snowfall? How about watching leaves spiral off a twiggy tree? And then there's the cuddly purring cat on your lap or the hilariously snoring dog by your side. One of my favorites? Dust motes floating in a sunbeam.
Breathe, look, smell, appreciate, hear, love, hug, smile. All free. Put the visa away and go have yourself a merry little simply free day.
Escape
Running away is never the answer to anything. However, a short escape can save you from time to time.
I remember a time when I felt deep sorrow, the only thing that made me feel better was picking up a good book on the very topic that ailed me. It was if the words reaffirmed I had done everything I could.
Reading a non topic book was helpful too. It took me to another world far away from the one I was in for a brief time.
Naps and enough rest are helpful too.
Believe
Imagine waking up in the morning dreading what's ahead. And then there's waking up in the morning believing it's a new day with brand new opportunity. Which would you choose?
Believe you can make things better. Believe in a higher power that will help you through the dark moments. Believe in others. And believe in yourself.
Because if I can do this, so can you.
Any tips on getting through hard times that have worked for you?
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